- We’ve been dating for a while…does that make me ready for sex?
- I met a cute guy the other night, we’re both fine with casual sex, and I’m on birth control…does that make me ready for sex?
- My partner and I have talked about sex already…does that make me ready for sex?
What makes someone ready for sex? Is it different for each person? What if a couple can’t agree on the right time to start having sex? There are 4 important questions for people to ask themselves before having sex.
1. Do I know my significant other’s sexual history?
It’s important to know if he has STI’s, because that means it would be a change for your whole life as well. It’s an important conversation to have. If your partner has had a sexual history and hasn’t been tested for STIs, you and he may both be oblivious to potential STIs. It’s important to get this checked out before committing to a possible lifetime infection for yourself.
2. What are my beliefs & values regarding sex before marriage?
Many choose to wait until marriage to have sex. This is often for religious values, when people choose to honor their future spouse—soul, mind, and body. Another reason why people wait until marriage is because every sexual relationship carries baggage that many people don’t wish to bring into their marriage. It’s a time for each partner to discover the gift of sex together and grow in intimacy with each other.
3. Am I feeling pressured by my significant other/peers to have sex?
You don’t owe it to anyone. Did he treat you to an expensive date and expects sex? Not worth it. Are all your friends having sex, you hadn’t felt ready, but what would it hurt? Nope, not worth it. Have you been dating for a long time and he’s getting tired of waiting for you to be ready for sex? Girl, still not worth it. Pressure from anyone will never make sex worth it.
4. Am I ready to become a parent?
Sister, all it takes is one time!
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